The One Year Itch

Loved this Onion article, "Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level":

Following a romantic three-day getaway to South Carolina's Hilton Head Island, 32-year-old Matthew Sullivan said he is now "more ready than ever" to take his 10-month relationship with girlfriend Carol Moag to the previous level.

"As you get older, you recognize what's really important to you," Sullivan said. "When I made the decision to get a lot less serious with Carol, I just felt this sense of peace. I can tell by the look in her eyes—that loving, longing gaze—that I must act now before I miss my chance."